Correlation

Although we had Monday off for MLK day, I'm still gonna say this is my first official "week" of school as I learn how to juggle everything. You wanna know what college REALLY teaches you? Time management. And if you don't learn that soon, you're screwed. Now I haven't always been the best at it, being a very successful procrastinator and all, but I'm happy to find out I'm getting better at it. I've fought hard to get here and have this opportunity and I'll be damned if I let myself screw it up. So I this week I have been maneuvering through 6 classes, working out every day, and cooking for myself. Pretty soon I'll add in working to that as well and I may or may not be a zombie by the end of the semester. But the point is, I'm actually enjoying this. Like I am for once so excited about where I'm at and what I'm doing and I'm not constantly stressed about what happens next. I'm not staring at the clock on the wall (most classrooms don't even have one, but you know what I mean) counting the minutes until class lets out and I'm not putting off homework because I hate it. I'm not listening to my professors go on and on about something I couldn't possibly care less, and wondering when in the hell in my life am I ever going to need to know this crap. No, I am engaged in class, focused, and LEARNING! I am astounded that I picked classes this semester that all relate to one another. It's like my choice to pursue this new path is being validated.

My favorite class right now has to be my Philosophy class, taught by Dr. Phil Oliver. (Phil OLIVER the PhilOSOPHER... get it? ha) I took this class because I wanted to know what Philosophy was. I knew it had to be important, but I had never had someone explain to me what it was. And I understand now why that never happen because there's not a real straight-forward way to answer that. Maybe by the end of the class I'll be able to form my own opinion of what it is to me. But for right now, the way I understand it is the practice of challenging what we call common sense and actively pursuing knowledge. Always wanting to know more.. which I am very familiar with. And the way that our professor teaches our class is that we have assigned reading from different books, depending on what group we are in (our class is divided up into four groups) and then discussing what we read. And let me tell you.. this discussions get interesting. We also assign one person from each group to be a "floater" who rotates to other groups throughout the class and reports back on what the other groups discussed at the end. Then we all go onto the class blog and post about it and continue our discussions so the whole class can see what each group has to say and post comments and such. And we are also allowed to post questions or topics that we think are important material for the class so that our professor will have an idea of things that would be good to put on our exams. We basically make our own exams. I've never encountered this way of teaching before but I absolutely love it! But the main thing that I am gathering from this class is the ability to open my mind and take in others' opinions and points of view. Expanding the way I see things, so to speak. Just as we challenge our beliefs or assumptions of one another in class, I know I will be in the same kind of situation whenever I travel. It's like practice runs for inevitable culture shock. And that is comforting to me to know that I'm training myself for what I intend to do in the future.

Plus, my cultural anthropology and global culture classes are so linked together that they actually had the same definitions listed in their class on Wednesday. Those will obviously benefit me. And my French class, yeah those benefits are obvious as well. My geography of Europe class is showing me everyday that I am so incredibly lost when it comes to knowing the geography of anything outside the US, but hey, I'm taking it to learn. Embarrassed now, knowledgeable later. The only class that doesn't seem to fit into all of this is my History class which is required by TN colleges. I believe its 3 of them, and the one I got into this semester was the History of the early settlement of the US. At first, I figured it would be a boring class, but thankfully our professor really loves what he does and it shows in his teaching. He doesn't want us to memorize a whole bunch of names and dates and regurgitate it all back onto the exam, but he wants us to understand how we came to be. It's fascinating to really pay attention to how America became what we know today and understand why we are so different from other countries. Gotta know where you come from to understand where you're going :)

It feels amazing to already be able to see the benefits of this decision. And when I feel like it's too much or I'm wondering why I chose this, I can come back here and remind myself. I'm only at the start of my journey, but damn it's already looking good!

Motivation

This weekend has just been relaxation.. punctuated at random intervals by the loud, annoy rants of the girls rooming next to me (ahem, like right now.. ugh), but otherwise stress-free. After the hassle of getting moved up here, throwing myself back in to college, and tackling the daunting task of wrestling 18 hours this Spring semester, not to mention in a completely foreign town where the only person I actually know lives 30 minutes away, having a weekend to just be a homebody was great. Saturday was pajamas all day and the only reason I put on jeans yesterday was because Taylor came down and we were going to go to the Hookah bar down the road, but it was closed, so we do as we always do.. went to the movies. Sidenote: The Last Stand is worth seeing. Much better than we anticipated. Although I'm not too happy that they had to damage those beautiful cars. Oh well, it's Hollywood.. where they spend money because its simply there.

Speaking of money.. today I was wondering why the hell we even have it. And that's a completely rhetorical question, because I did pay attention in Economics, but I absolutely hate stressing about it. After buying all the things I needed for this semester, my funds are heartbreakingly low. And with the Guard messing up my pay (yet again), and the store not putting me on the schedule (yet! That's supposed to change soon!), knowing that funds are far away is stressing. I know, it could be worse, but it's really annoying that every time I start to have myself set up and pretty stable, BAM! something swoops in and wipes it all away. Like finding out that I still have 2 MORE books to get! I already have 9!!!! Come on guys, it's ridiculous. So I give in for a moment and let myself totally freak out, stress over it, and maybe even cry a little, and then I put my big girl panties on and realize, yes, it could be worse. And one day it will be better. But if its not better soon, I might just rip my hair out.

So what do I do to take my mind off all this nonsense? Well, pinterest, mostly. Honestly, it's just addictive. If you don't have time to sit at your computer for hours, don't even bother.. but if you do... You'll curse me and thank me in equal amounts. But seriously, there is some wonderful finds there and most of my pins revolve around food recipes and workouts. Food, because I'm determined to eat better and save some of that dang money that disappears as soon as I get it. Yeah it means getting off my ass and cooking for myself, but I'm doing it day by day. Like today, my lunch consisted of the cheese and chicken grilled tortillas Taylor and I used to make, only I added black beans and spinach to make them even better. Plus I made three so I would have lunch for tomorrow as well and I wouldn't have to worry about it! Don't worry, I already patted myself on the back. I have like, 100s of recipes on that board by now, so I'll never run out of stuff to try and McDonald's is just going to have to get along without me.

Oh and the workouts! I always read from trainers, articles, and such that you have to beware that plateau thing where your body gets used to what you're doing and you don't see results anymore. Well, my solution to that is making my own schedule of what group of muscles I want to work out each day and then finding an exercise for that the night before. And then in the morning I make myself get up at 6 AM! (gasp! a college student up that early?) and walk over to the rec, or on the days I have earlier classes, I'll do shorter workouts here. This is just me and my dedication so if I don't do it, I'm the only one to blame. But I know I love the after workout high and there's something great about looking at all my classmates stumbling into morning classes while I'm sitting there thinking, "Yeah, I've already been up for 3 hours and started my day off right, bitches!" I just have to, ya know, get my ass up. And it sucks.. I won't lie to you. Anyone that says differently, they're lying. Right through their fake smiles.. they're lying to you. Even if you're a morning person, you have to admit there's that moment right before you open your eyes where you're wishing you had just five more minutes. But I have a PT test to train for in April, and I figured since I was already halfway insane with the waking up early, cutting out fast food, and taking on well over full time classwork, why not train for a half-marathon that goes in April? This one to be exact! Ya know, if I find the money to pay to register, but I'll get to that later. Running one of these things is on my bucket list, so hey, no time like the present right? But I really hate running.. and I mean that.. I hate it with every fiber of my being.. but we gotta be fit for the zombie apocalypse. Because I don't know about you, but there's no way I'm becoming a human happy meal. Although I do have the zombie race in March.. but that's okay, I'll be dressed as the zombie chasing people, so I'll be having so much fun I won't realize I'm running.

Okay, enough talk of running. My point in the post is that there are things that I want to do. They're not easy and getting there is probably not going to be the most fun things I've ever done, but I'm not going to make up excuses for why I can't do them.You know why Forrest Gump was so good at doing things? Because he never had the doubt that he couldn't. He just did them. And he was a runner.. Haha, and a certain someone used to tell me watching movies was a waste of my time :D

Full college student immersion

First day of Spring semester completed. I am officially a Junior in college, double majoring, with an 18 hour course load. It is ridiculous how much I enjoyed throwing myself back into this and how much I am looking forward to doing homework and learning again. And I will need to re-read this post whenever I am complaining about said homework and wondering why the hell I did this to myself. But for now, it's great.

The day started at 6 am. Yes, my crazy ass got up that early to eat breakfast and walk to the Rec to finally get my butt back in the gym. I love the feeling AFTER I workout, but getting there is seriously half the battle. And I know if I don't get up and go before my mind catches on to what I'm doing, I won't do it at all that day. I'll tell myself, "Oh, you'll have time later.." but I know I won't. I've figured out my habits. So I walk into the rec, where you actually have to scan your hand to get in. Whoa, going all high tech on me here. Then when I walk in, I am seriously overwhelmed. In front of me is a huge rock wall (Score!), to the left is a weight room, to the right is a massive swimming pool, and upstairs is every kind of cardio machine you could think of, plus an aerobic room on the right side. Oh, and did I mention the quarter mile track that circles up above the basketball courts? Yeah, it's huge. And I haven't really sat down and adopted a new workout plan yet, so I just jumped on the eliptical and sweated it out for a bit. And it felt so good to sweat. Unfortunately it was something around 32 degrees outside, so the walk back to my dorm was not pleasant. I REALLY need to invest in a bike.. ya know, eventually, whenever I have that lovely green stuff.

Anyways, back to the dorm, quick shower, down a banana and some chocolate milk, get ready, check my schedule, check the map, pack my bag, check the map again, and head out the door. I wasn't sure how long it would take me to walk to my first class, so I left thirty minutes early. I got there about ten minutes before class started so it was good. My first class is History 2010: The American People, Discovery until 1877. It is a requirement for MTSU students, and the professors assures us that he doesn't take the traditional history teaching approach where we have to memorize tons of dates and people and regurgitate them at the end of the semester. We shall see. He seems pretty spirited about his subject, but I made the wrong choice of sitting in the front row, which he continuously walks up to throughout the class, and I'm pretty sure I saw him almost spit on someone. So moving further back from now on.

Then it was off to Geography of Europe.  My region concentration for my global studies major is Europe because it has always interested me the most. It's what is called a web-enhanced class, which means that we only meet in the classroom once a month, and the rest of the coursework is online. Which is great because it means that most of the time I will have that block of time to come back for lunch. I'm trying to get away without needing a meal plan, so we will see how that turns out. The professor is nice and says that he's been teaching this for longer than I've been alive, and was able to draw the map of Europe from memory, so I'm hoping I pick that up by the end of the semester.

Next came Philosophy 1030: Intro to Philosophy. Or CoPhilosophy, as my professor calls it. Now this is a class that I am interested in. I figured I would be around a good bit of freshmen picking an intro class, but there was a good bit of upperclassmen, and even two older students. And most of the Juniors were even my age, which didn't make me feel so out of place. But our professor is what really stands out. He's outspoken, funny, and very animated. I couldn't tell you the first thing about philosophy right now, but he assures us that we will understand not only the subject matter, but will know where we fit in terms of contemporary, traditional, etc. Plus, we get to pick the topic of our course paper, and it can be anything we want as long as we can tie it to a philosophical aspect. He showed us a website that lists some topics and books to go along with it, and my eyes immediately found the link that said "Zombies and Philosophy". Bet ya can guess what my topic will be! :) And he runs three different blogs, two personal and one is the class blog, and also tweets. The class blog can be found here.  My only complaint... he doesn't like football. He understands how strange that is for us in the South (He's from St. Louis) and says he will explain his reasoning later on in the class.

And last class of the day was French, my second major. Now, I took 2 years of French in high school, but whenever I took the placement test here, I really just could not remember the answers to any of the questions. I can count, tell you my name, tell you I can speak a little, and a few other random tidbits in French, but I could not for the life of me pass that test. So I have to start from scratch. And I know I will most likely be thankful for the refresher in the end, but right now it is a bit frustrating. I tried my best to kind of blend in, but the teacher already knows my name and calls on me for a lot of things. And three classmates were already asking how to pronounce every other thing. I am far from an expert, but hey, at least I have an idea of what I'm doing. I'll stumble through the rest of it. I need two semesters of French to qualify for the study abroad program anyways so I have time to get better.

So yes, I had a full day today, complete with snow during the middle of the day, which for a Georgian, that's rare. My hair was completely windblown and my ears felt like ice by the end of the day, and I am surprised I don't have a runny nose (knock on wood). I didn't realize how tired I was until I laid down to take a "short" nap and woke up about four hours later. At least I'll be well rested to wake up and do it all over again tomorrow! Only two classes then though, both before lunch, so it won't be as bad.

I am a college student again.. I'm learning about things that actually interest me and I'm actually looking forward to it. I agree with my philosophy professor in that students should choose their major right off the bat. I started off as a biology major because I was bound and determined to be a vet. I didn't understand all the schooling that entailed or just how competitive it would be, but if you had asked me, I would have talked your ear off about the entire plan that I had laid out for myself. And I held onto that damn plan so strongly with both hands for so long because I was so afraid of feeling lost if I happened to let go, that I never stopped to ask myself if it was really what I wanted. I was never really brave enough to stop and go down a path where I couldn't plan every detail out. For whatever reason though, last summer I did, and this is where it lead me. And I can honestly say, it feels great. Good night everyone. May you always have the courage to go with your gut!

Culture Shock

As I sit here staring at the screen, my first thought is , "Why did you not by that aspirin at the Dollar Store?" I knew I was gonna need it, but as always, I just told myself I would get it later. My day started with me knocking out my grocery shopping. I was dreading it because I am really tired of spending money and I knew I would be needing to get basics, so I would spend more than I wanted to. But I think I did pretty well anyways. I'm going to right down how quickly I go through things so I can have a better idea of how much money I'm actually going to spend on groceries each month and if I do need a meal plan. We shall see. But I did find a packet of frozen yogurt with dark chocolate swirls that had individual serving sizes, so I'm not giving that stuff up. Yum :)

After parting with my hard earned money for some essential nutrition, I made my way back to my dorm and was greeted by my roommate as I was unpacking. She's as nice as I hoped she would be, and I'm sure we will get along fine. She let me know that she doesn't spend much time in the room due to her work at Best Buy and spending time with her boyfriend, which I'm okay with. I tend to be an introvert at times, until I get tired of it and seek out company.

Which brings me to my entertaining dinner. I had came downstairs to the kitchen to fix myself a cup of noodles (oh yay cheap-o college student dinners) and a bunch of people were lounging around on the couches. They glanced up as I walked by but no one said anything so I just smiled and continued on. When I came back out however, one guy sitting on the end introduced himself as Daniel, and started the chain reaction of everyone else introducing themselves. A couple minutes later I was invited to accompany them for dinner, and although I wasn't hungry and I was looking forward to seeing the season premiere of SyFy's Face Off show (love it!), I figured I should get to know the people I would be living with.

About 20 minutes later, I'm in a restaurant called Cheddar's that I have never been to, surrounded by a guy from Mexico, 3 guys from Japan, 4 girls from Japan, and a guy from Nashville who just got back from studying in Japan. I had already gathered that most of the people in my dorm were Asian, but I kinda felt it was rude to ask exactly where each person was from, so I just let them tell me themselves. As I was sitting there listening to the girl beside me telling me that it's hard to find a Mexican restaurant in Japan, I realized that I was paying much more attention to everything she said than the other people at the table because I had to listen harder to understand her. Most of them spoke English quite well, but the pronunciation is a bit off, so you have to hear what they say and match it in your head to how you know its supposed to sound. But just like you feel a sense of accomplishment whenever you solve a puzzle, I got excited when I realized I was catching onto her accent easier and more quickly. I can already tell that I will learn way more from living here than a textbook could ever teach me.

And to top my evening off, I got to FaceTime with my aunt and cousin who are watching over my dear baby, Rhino, a now 2-year old Pug that I have had since he was a puppy. My mini fridge was making noises last night and I woke up thinking at first that it was just him snoring at the end of my bed. Words can not describe how much I miss that spoiled rotten little thing but I know he's having fun being around their dogs and having others to play with, so I am thankful they were generous enough to offer to take care of him. There is no love on Earth like that of a faithful dog. Especially one that snores louder than a freight train ;)

First Post..

So my first post on my new blog as I start my new chapter in my new dorm room at my new school.. Must admit, it's pretty exciting. This time last year, well let's just say that things were a complete 180. And I am not going to go into all the gory details of the events of 2012. Not because I'm embarrassed or upset about it, but simply because it feels like another lifetime. It feels like all that happened to someone else somehow and I just witnessed it.. Does that make any sense? Maybe not. I guess it's like reading a book.. you get so involved with the story and the characters that you feel a part of that world. Well you do if you read like I do, anyways. But that's what the past year, or past three years I should say, feel like to me. There are some great memories, but when I try to recall them, the bad ones tag right along with them and beat their way to the front of my mind, so all those thoughts and memories are boxed up with a nice little bow on top and shoved to the back of my mind. I'm starting a *new* memory chain here.. Woo hoo!

So yeah, I am 22 years old, back in a dorm room, waiting on my comforter to get through in the dryer, sipping on a Mtn Dew, promising myself I'll give up sodas for good.. tomorrow. For the longest time I beat myself up over not sticking to school and finishing it straight through the first time. I hated seeing all the people I went to school with posting statuses about how they were graduating and all I could think about was how I still had more to go. But ya know, if I hadn't done the things that kept me out of school and went down the path I did, there is no telling where I would be right now. Possibly in graduate school chasing down a career I wasn't even completely sure I wanted or in a job that I couldn't stand. But I know I wouldn't be here. Because right after high school, I was in that, "go to school, get a degree, get a career, make money, settle down" mindset and everything that I wanted to do simply for the sake of doing it was on the back burner. If it didn't further my plans in some way or benefit me right then, I wasn't letting it get in the way. But I realize now that was such a bad way to look at it. Those dreams and goals and ideas weren't getting in my way.. I was. This stupid plan and idea of how my life should be was getting in my damn way. (Forewarning: I honestly do cuss like a sailor. See I have this viewpoint that "cuss" words are still just words.. it all depends on the context of how you use them. I honestly don't see much difference in calling someone an asshole or a butthole.. one just grabs your attention more I guess. I don't know.. that my opinion, but for the sake of my family that's reading this, I'll try to tone it down.) Everyone talks about how college was the best time of their lives.. ya know, before that stumbled into the real world. Woke up one day and was told they were adults and needed to start acting like it. Well you know what.. the thought of that day kinda terrifies me now. Not the thought of having a steady job and being what society sees as successful, but losing this thirst for adventure, and knowledge, and life. I watched three years pass by in the blink of an eye and I will never get that time back. I don't want to sit at a desk and work myself into boredom day in and day out until I can retire and finally do what I want. I want to do what I want right now. I remember how they show in movies that kids are the only ones who can see things that adults stopped believing in at some point in their lives.. I'd like to think I'll always be able to see those things. No, I might not be seeing fairies or the Easter Bunny, but I want to see the world and everything in it with the same awe and wonder that I had seeing things for the first time as a child. I don't want to let go of that... ever.

And yeah, growing up makes that harder. But hey, I'll just fight harder to hold onto it. And anyone that has been around me longer than five minutes will know that stubborn is an understatement for me. It was in this mindset that I stumbled across this blog about a guy who graduated school and decided he wasn't ready to have a steady job yet.. so he packed up and just started traveling. Years later, he's learned multiple languages and visited more places than I have even heard of. Oh, and he's Irish but he doesn't drink.. I hope I meet this guy one day to let him know I credit him for inspiring me to research and find out this path could be possible. Check him out here.

I sat on my couch after that day and just researched all these different people who travel and explore for a living and blog about how they do it. It's possible.. if you're willing to step outside your comfort zone. Give up a little first world comforts we're all so accustomed to and just live. I'm still figuring out this whole blogging thing, so it won't be as elegant as those peoples' but hopefully you'll find it somewhat entertaining. If not, well no one will stop you from leaving this page. Go play angry birds or something.

As for me, I'm starting with learning what I can. People like to hear you have a degree, and I like learning, so it seemed like a good use of my time right now. I'll be double majoring in Global Studies and French here at Middle Tennessee State University. Global Studies is a fairly new major that allows you to pick whether you would like to concentrate on foreign culture, politics, or history. I don't want to be a tourist.. I want to be a traveler, so therefore I need to know about where I'm going. And since I want to do it all, I'll just learn about the world in general. No, I don't know where it's going to lead me. No, I don't know what exactly I'm going to do with my degree. And No, I don't have any set plans of where or what I'll be doing in the next 5 years.. and I am so unbelievably happy about that. God will let me know my path as he deems necessary. I'll just be enjoying the ride!

So for those of you who take the time to read my words and try to follow along with my crazy thoughts, I hope you're able to take something from them. I know reading about all the stories from the other bloggers made me inspired, and a little jealous of course, and although it'll be a while before I'm able to completely dive in to the life I'm chasing, I'll prove that nothing can hold you back from something if you want it badly enough. The only real limits you have, are the ones you give yourself.