Don't encourage that!

I find that I usually write my posts at the end of the day, right before I lay down. I say lay down, not go to sleep, because more often than not I still stay up and read for a bit before I actually let myself shut down. Man, I love reading. But it is so hard to read when I'm not that interested in what I'm having to read. But with 6 classes this semester, I really haven't had much time to read for my own pleasure. But I chose to do my philosophy paper on Clive Barker's "The Inhuman Condition", so I will be reading that for pleasure and academic reasons. I'm griping about reading because I am having the worst time getting through this book assigned for my history class. I think it's more the author's writing style that I don't like than the actual content, but either way, it's proved to be the fastest way to make me get sleepy that I have ever found. Ugh. But good note for today.. found out that my cheap-o tubberware (yeah, probably not how it's spelled but I liked it better this way) do not hold onto odors if I happen to leave the food in there longer than I should because it got shoved to the back of the fridge and overlooked for a bit. Yes, I was genuinely excited about that, because anyone who has opened a container and had it take your breath away (in the worst possible way) knows how exciting that is to NOT have it happen. Or maybe you don't. Either way, I had my little happy dance in the kitchen today, so yay. (:

Anyways, on to my actual point of this post. I had my global studies class today and my anthropology class. Both had videos that really got me thinking. The global studies featured a video about this group of African guys (I forgot what specific part) who came to America in the 80s just to visit and they were talking about how different it was for them. It was hard for them to get to know people because they weren't friendly or wouldn't go out of their way to help them, and they were having a lot of trouble understanding why people were so rude to them. In their culture, that just didn't happen. My anthro class was actually a film, and it was about the continuously rising growth of our population. About all the issues we are facing trying to provide for so many people, how we honestly do not have enough resources for the amount we consume, and how all of this is affecting the environment and wildlife. That alone was shocking and unnerving. But then it started following this woman who talked about how her and her husband had two kids of their own and adopted a girl from Ethiopia because she wanted a bigger family and her husband was against adding to the population. When they approached her about a part in the film, she took up the opportunity to go visit Ethiopia and actually see where her daughter came from. She met this young woman who told her the story of her life, how she had decided to go against cultural norms in her city and not marry young. She works 6 days a week to provide for her family (the main provider), and attends school at night. She takes care of her young niece because her mother died of AIDS when she was a baby. Her mother was 12 when she was forced to marry her father, and she had once asked her mother to get on birth control so she wouldn't have anymore kids and make a bigger burden on her. She talked about how her father did not believe in it and her mother would not stand up to him. The first time anyone in the family stood up to him was when she told him she would not be married off and when she finally made him realize she had bigger dreams for herself, he was ashamed for ever trying to make her do that. Now all her siblings look up to her as an inspiration because she's making her own decisions. And she got the courage to do that from listening to soap opera on a radio station that promotes powerful women who make their own decisions about their lives and their bodies.

Why did this touch me today? Because it made me realize how fortunate I am to have been brought up with that choice encouraged from the time I could understand words. I have a say in what I want to do with my life, and I have never been faced with a reality that had that taken away.

But the thing I asked myself was, what do I want to do? I want to travel, first and foremost. I want to learn.. I never ever want to stop learning. I want to experience the world and learn how other people live. I want to walk to the edge of my comfort zone and take a flying leap, laughing the whole way down until I find a way to fly. But these are not specific goals. These are not career choices. Their just abstract goals that guide me in the direction I want, but I'm no where near determining what the road signs say up ahead. There is no, "Your destination is (blank) and it is (blank) miles away."

And once upon a time that would have scared the shit out of me. I was the type of person that wanted to plan out every detail because I found comfort in that. I am a planner. I am organized, slightly OCD, and detailed. I'm horrible at telling stories because I don't want to leave anything out, and so I drag them out way more than need be. So how the heck am I dealing with this sudden change of having no clue what exactly it is that I am doing? I take a deep breath every morning and allow myself to pay attention to everything around me. I took my eyes off the road map and started staring at the road. And if I see a sign for some quaint little tourist stop, or just something on the side of the road that interests me, I stop. I take my time and take it all in. I'm allowing the road to guide and teach me along the way instead of rushing headfirst in the direction I think I want to go.

Back when I was in high school, I was bound and determined I was going to be a vet. If you had asked me, I could have told you my plan for the next 10 years of my life. And so many people were impressed by that. They were like, "Wow, you've got it all planned out. That's great! You know where you wanna go and you've got a plan to get you there." But the truth is, if I had stuck with that path, if life had never intervened, I don't think I would be happy. I think I would feel stuck and be wondering where all my time had gone. My point is, don't encourage people to plan everything out. There is a time for us to be all mature and prepared, but we have to make our mistakes first. We have to get wonderfully lost and in those moments, find out what's really inside of us. We have to be faced with things we've never known before and figure it out on our own. We need to feel the fear of stepping outside our comfort zone so that we can feel the sweet relief of surviving life outside of it. We need to be challenged in every aspect from out beliefs, to our goals, to our interpretation of the world around us. So please, don't encourage the safe routes. Don't try to convince the people around you that something is too scary or too risky. Because chances are if they're telling you about their dreams, then they value you opinion in some way. So encourage them to be true to themselves and not play it safe. All we need is the reassurance that we're not alone. Encourage the road less traveled by. None of us ever make it out of this alive anyways.

Text talk: the death of our language?

I had a realization early this morning in my first class of the day. I was already not in the best of moods because I had experienced a first in my life that morning.. never before had I had a parking spot been stolen from me, but today it happened twice. If I thought I had road rage before, it was nothing compared to this. I was late, it was raining, and I had to pee. Just overall not happy. But as I sit there and listen to a fellow classmates give his two cents about our assigned reading, I started counting how many times he said the word "like". Now, I have noticed that he does that a lot before, and I have even pointed it out to him, but it made me take notice of how many other people in the class say either the same word, or other filler words just entirely too often in their conversations. Now, I am sure I am guilty of this as well.. I'm not claiming to be the most eloquent speaker (I am Southern after all), but it just really stood out to me today and from then on, I couldn't help but to pay attention to the way everyone else spoke for the rest of the day. And I am horrified as to what our language has turned into. Back whenever texting first started catching on, I still took the time to spell out all my words. I don't like shorthand and abbreviations, no matter how much time they save. Why can we not take the time to appreciate what we are writing or speaking? Just appreciate our language for what it is meant to be? But no, we're always have to rush through everything. The biggest turn-off to me? Grammar and spelling. Blame it on being a yearbook editor for three years or just an avid lover of literature and poetry, but I believe there is a certain amount of respect that should be places on words and language, and if you and I can't agree on that, well then I have nothing more to say to you. Or more likely to be the case, there is nothing more that I wish to hear from you.

I believe Robin Williams pointed it out best in his quotes from the movie, "Dead Poets Society". I love this man.

My thoughts on V-Day..

I forewarn you, this is not going to be all sweet and lovey. I do not care for the holiday and I never actually have. Maybe it is because I have never really had a special over-the-top Valentine's celebration, but I really don't attribute it to that. Even when I have been in a relationship when this disaster of a holiday came around, I usually suggested something a little more practical.. like spending the day at the gun range. But hey, I'm just weird like that. I think the holiday puts way too much emphasis on showing someone you care, when really, you should be doing that everyday regardless of what the calendar says. It's just an excuse to spend money on cheesy stuffed animals, fancy flowers, and loads of candy. I mean seriously, who came up with the idea that candy and chocolates were a sign of affection? "Here ya go honey, I love you so much so eat this processed sugar and let's fatten you right up so I can complain about how you let yourself go and break up with you to go find someone skinnier.." Yeah..

It's a terrible holiday to me and the point that most people do not even know where it started, just baffles me. Just in case you happen to be one of those, here, enlighten yourself. Don't get me wrong though, I'm not going to go around yelling a couples all huddle up and stab every heart-shaped balloon I see (although that could be pretty entertaining). I will actually most likely be in my room with my nose in one of the four books I need to get through this week. After I bring my professor's cake to class, of course. My current favorite professor's birthday is thursday and since that is also our class day, he told us that we were welcome to bring anything we would like to share. And I definitely want to bring a cake! So yes, that is my excitement of the day. Nothing romantic and certainly nothing pink. Just simple bread and frosting. Oh hell! My Granny's strawberry cake just popped into my head and my mouth immediately starting watering. Ugh.. cravings are nonsense. Now that cake is just going to be disappointing.

Oh and one more thing I am looking forward to for this V-day, although it's technically the day after, it's how we are considering our V-day spent. Taylor and I will be in the movie theater sneaking into multiple movie for the price of one because watching Bruce Willis shoot up some bad guys (again) and critiquing the newest movie adaptation of a book series we both love is just way more pleasing than trying to suffer through anything romantic right now. I want something so much deeper than a Hallmark card and overpriced flowers. But you can be damn sure I'm not hunting it down or crying because I don't have it yet.. I've got better things to do.. like enjoy a free popcorn coupon! NOM NOM NOM!

Cosmopolitanism

So today was my return to Philosophy class. I think it is safe to say it is my favorite class and I always look forward to it. Anyways, the topic we discussed in our group today was cosmopolitanism. No, not the drink or the magazine, but a word that comes from the Greek stem "cosmos" and it actually means to be a citizen of the world. And the argument that the particular philosopher we were focusing on was making, was that in order to truly understand the world and be a part of it, we must accept that people are going to think differently than us. That does not mean there is no possible way we can get along with them, but quite the opposite. He encourages that we keep our minds open and to converse with others and really listen to what they have to say about their lives, beliefs, and experiences.
And my first thought to this is, "Okay, when can I start?" I mean, is it weird that I am totally okay with someone challenging me and the way I see the world? I wouldn't mind a bit if someone wanted to know more about why I do things a certain way, just as long as they're okay with me picking their brains in return. I actually usually get that chance almost every day living in this dorm, because there are so many foreign exchange students. But as we discussed it in our group, I realized that many people do not share that outlook with me. They're comfortable with the way their world is as they know it and anything challenging or changing that, scares them. And try as I might to understand and respect that point of view, I just can't help but feel sorry for them. I could not imagine what it would be like to not want to know more. To not want to explore, and see, and do. But I'm sure I seem like an insane person to them for wanting to leave everything I've ever known just to see what else is out there. Which made me wonder, is this behavior or drive, is it something that is learned? If it is, I'm not so sure where I learned it. Probably from reading... Fair warning parents: reading will make your children adventurous, determined, and driven. You have been warned. ...ha.

-And on a random sidenote because this has absolutely nothing to do with the above post, but I would really like to share. Right now, there is so much debate over gun control and new laws, etc. that I dread getting on facebook and reading all the rants. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, yes, but having an argument over the internet is just about as effective as nailing jello to a tree. But I was reading a story out of my globalization book, and it's a essay taken from "Deer Hunting with Jesus: Dispatches from America's Class War" by Joe Bageant. He was, of course, raised in the South, and the chapter talks about how deer hunting was a right of passage for him growing up, but this quote he had about people not understanding that special tie to guns just stood out to me:
"Unfortunately, utter lack of knowledge and experience doesn't keep nonhunting urban liberals from believing they know what's best for everybody else - or simply laughing at what they do not understand."

That man knew what he was talking about.

Return to routine

So I am finally back at this desk. Had to take a trip all the way down to good ol ATL for my EMT-B re-certification class for my medic job with the National Guard. We have to update every two years, so yeah it was a blast.. Man, sarcasm just doesn't come through the computer like it should. I am exhausted. I have been running back and forth for the past week and I feel like if I just had a day to sleep (yes, a whole 24 hours) then I might be okay. But I stress the word might. But whatever, I finally back in my dorm room and I'm trying to catch up with everything I missed. You miss a lot in a week. There was a to-do list on my desk today about the length of my arm but at least I got about half of it crossed off. If I had a maid to cook for me, my life would be so much easier. Yes, I have food on my mind because I went grocery shopping and my fridge is full of stuff I can't wait to chow down on. I should probably go cook dinner before I settle in to really start studying.. I tend to lose track of time with I get my nose stuck in a book. And it seems I'm more than just a bit distracted tonight. So yeah..