Anyways, on to my actual point of this post. I had my global studies class today and my anthropology class. Both had videos that really got me thinking. The global studies featured a video about this group of African guys (I forgot what specific part) who came to America in the 80s just to visit and they were talking about how different it was for them. It was hard for them to get to know people because they weren't friendly or wouldn't go out of their way to help them, and they were having a lot of trouble understanding why people were so rude to them. In their culture, that just didn't happen. My anthro class was actually a film, and it was about the continuously rising growth of our population. About all the issues we are facing trying to provide for so many people, how we honestly do not have enough resources for the amount we consume, and how all of this is affecting the environment and wildlife. That alone was shocking and unnerving. But then it started following this woman who talked about how her and her husband had two kids of their own and adopted a girl from Ethiopia because she wanted a bigger family and her husband was against adding to the population. When they approached her about a part in the film, she took up the opportunity to go visit Ethiopia and actually see where her daughter came from. She met this young woman who told her the story of her life, how she had decided to go against cultural norms in her city and not marry young. She works 6 days a week to provide for her family (the main provider), and attends school at night. She takes care of her young niece because her mother died of AIDS when she was a baby. Her mother was 12 when she was forced to marry her father, and she had once asked her mother to get on birth control so she wouldn't have anymore kids and make a bigger burden on her. She talked about how her father did not believe in it and her mother would not stand up to him. The first time anyone in the family stood up to him was when she told him she would not be married off and when she finally made him realize she had bigger dreams for herself, he was ashamed for ever trying to make her do that. Now all her siblings look up to her as an inspiration because she's making her own decisions. And she got the courage to do that from listening to soap opera on a radio station that promotes powerful women who make their own decisions about their lives and their bodies.
Why did this touch me today? Because it made me realize how fortunate I am to have been brought up with that choice encouraged from the time I could understand words. I have a say in what I want to do with my life, and I have never been faced with a reality that had that taken away.
But the thing I asked myself was, what do I want to do? I want to travel, first and foremost. I want to learn.. I never ever want to stop learning. I want to experience the world and learn how other people live. I want to walk to the edge of my comfort zone and take a flying leap, laughing the whole way down until I find a way to fly. But these are not specific goals. These are not career choices. Their just abstract goals that guide me in the direction I want, but I'm no where near determining what the road signs say up ahead. There is no, "Your destination is (blank) and it is (blank) miles away."
And once upon a time that would have scared the shit out of me. I was the type of person that wanted to plan out every detail because I found comfort in that. I am a planner. I am organized, slightly OCD, and detailed. I'm horrible at telling stories because I don't want to leave anything out, and so I drag them out way more than need be. So how the heck am I dealing with this sudden change of having no clue what exactly it is that I am doing? I take a deep breath every morning and allow myself to pay attention to everything around me. I took my eyes off the road map and started staring at the road. And if I see a sign for some quaint little tourist stop, or just something on the side of the road that interests me, I stop. I take my time and take it all in. I'm allowing the road to guide and teach me along the way instead of rushing headfirst in the direction I think I want to go.
Back when I was in high school, I was bound and determined I was going to be a vet. If you had asked me, I could have told you my plan for the next 10 years of my life. And so many people were impressed by that. They were like, "Wow, you've got it all planned out. That's great! You know where you wanna go and you've got a plan to get you there." But the truth is, if I had stuck with that path, if life had never intervened, I don't think I would be happy. I think I would feel stuck and be wondering where all my time had gone. My point is, don't encourage people to plan everything out. There is a time for us to be all mature and prepared, but we have to make our mistakes first. We have to get wonderfully lost and in those moments, find out what's really inside of us. We have to be faced with things we've never known before and figure it out on our own. We need to feel the fear of stepping outside our comfort zone so that we can feel the sweet relief of surviving life outside of it. We need to be challenged in every aspect from out beliefs, to our goals, to our interpretation of the world around us. So please, don't encourage the safe routes. Don't try to convince the people around you that something is too scary or too risky. Because chances are if they're telling you about their dreams, then they value you opinion in some way. So encourage them to be true to themselves and not play it safe. All we need is the reassurance that we're not alone. Encourage the road less traveled by. None of us ever make it out of this alive anyways.
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